Edited to add: I am not currently suicidal! Sorry to scare people!
I shared yesterday that I have a 72 hour plan to try to stop myself from committing suicide. I promised myself that if I still feel like killing myself after 72 hrs of feeling that way, that I could give myself permission to kill myself. I am a rapid cycling bipolar person, so usually don’t have that long of episodes.
My friend CJ said he doesn’t like the 72 hour plan, because it is a plan involving suicide which is a dangerous thing to have. I’m not sure I’m ready to give up the 72 hr plan, but I am willing to tweak the plan to having more things I have to do if I’m feeling bad.
So this is where you all come in. Please suggest things that I might do, and at what hour of the episode I should do them to keep myself healthy and (hopefully) alive.
Like at what hour of suicidal feelings should I go to the hospital, or at least call a doctor? What should my timeline be for telling Brad? How about for telling someone outside of Brad? Anything else I should do, with an hour time marking?
I feel suicidal a LOT. Probably a few times a month. So I don’t want the plan to be any suicidal feelings and I go to the hospital. That would be overkill (no pun intended). Suicidal feelings are part of my normal.
1.Dear friend please take your next few minutes to read things on this link.
2. Think of Brad , think of Jesus
3. Think of something that bring you joy , chocolate, going for a walk with hesia.
Even sleeping .
And yes post one your ideas til tomorrow or the next day or next week.
How about after 24 hours you call a suicide prevention hotline?
Maybe remove excess meds and lethal items from the home?
Make this plan with Brad and ask him when he wants to be notified.
Plan some days off to rest. Dan and I will visit if you like. We both care about you!
Get to therapy asap
I added some of your suggestions into a reply that has my current version of the plan. Let me know what you think! I didn’t do it as a reply because I want it to be easily found by me when I need it, so I don’t want it nested within other comment threads.
Someone on Facebook suggested at 2 hrs in I write a blog entry.
So we have:
immediate: tell Brad
2 hrs: write blog entry
24 hrs: call suicide hotline
48 hrs: Remove access to sharp objects and extra meds
When should I contact friends? How many hours in should I take time off of my schedule?
Call friends anytime, because if Brad is unable to support you due to his own illnesses, you need the backup. Make a list of whom to contact in what order…like, maybe, Cj, then Dan, then Linden, (you can include me on there too!), Chanda, etc. Keep going through the list until you make contact with someone. I would remove as many sharp objects and extra meds as a rule rather than waiting til crisis. Whatever MUST be around will be less to gather in crisis, and that’s for someone else to do, NOT you. I would make that earlier than 48 hours in…impulse control is not always easy. (Been there) Hope some of that helps!
For the record…we definitely don’t share the same diagnoses, but I deal with this almost daily and I have internalized that things can shift in five minutes. (lots of work for sure on this to be able to live with it and not act on it!) <3
Talking to someone really helps me. Reach out anytime! Or if you want to set up a regular check in, I’m happy to do that. I have a friend I text each morning at 8:30 to remind her to take her medications. If a weekly text to see how you are doing might help, let me know. Then if you aren’t great we can talk. If you decide more or less frequent check ins would be better, we can adjust. I’m happy to help in any way you think would be beneficial!
OK so here is the update:
immediate: tell Brad
2 hrs: write blog entry
6 hrs: Reach out to a supporter
10 hrs: Call suicide hotline
24 hrs: Remove access to sharp objects and extra meds
36 hrs: Go to hospital
I know that I get in “thought habits”. For example… I used to think-this really sucks. Why do I have to spend so much time in bed. Why do I hurt so much. I am such a loser. Why do people put up with me. After a while, I realized that this sort of thinking was sort of just a habit and I worked hard on changing it. So when the thought… why do I have to spend so much time in bed would occur, I would intentionally change it to a thought of my choosing. Thank god I have a bed to be in. In each instance I practiced changing my negative thought pattern. Why do I hurt so much changed to I deserve rest. I really want to die changed to I want to stop feeling like crap.
I had to fake those thoughts for a while. Practice replacing the natural thoughts with something else and it worked. Not the first time I did it, but over time I learned to manage my thinking patterns for the most part. If this is the case with you something to take note of would be the change of thought from I want to die to- I am going to… blah blah blah. When we hit the “blah blah blah” stage, things may be getting more severe or out of control. Notice those sort of changes. Practice changing thoughts where you can but always know that takes time and from one moment to the next you might change from… that was a habitual thought to “oh Im really in trouble now”. If you realize you are really in trouble. throw away your plan and get help immediatly.
Good for you for being proactive and planning ahead. Its like sports. If we plan for the big plays, we know what to do when they occur.