You may have noticed that I have not been active in my blog or on social media for the past few weeks. Unfortunately, my mom, who has been struggling with Lewy Body Dementia for the past two and a half or three years, passed away.
About three weeks ago, my mom had a seizure and fell. At first we thought she would recover, but it became clear after a few days that she would not. So we started making plans to head up to Ohio. I had to make two batches of dog food, make like 8 chicken breasts as the dogs don’t always eat well when we’re away, we had to clean the house, we had to rearrange appointments, etc. It took us about 4 days to prepare to leave. Unfortunately, I was never able to start my PT from my surgery before we left so I had to improvise 100% while I was gone.
Anyway, about two weeks ago, we dropped the girls off with someone who works at my vet’s office to watch them. Thank goodness she had an opening! I did NOT want to leave them in a boarding facility for an undetermined length of time!
We headed out and took two days to drive up to Ohio. The first day, it was supposed to be a 3.5 hr drive, and it took us 5.5 hrs due to accidents! That night, about 1:30AM, my mom passed away. I missed her by one day.
The second day the drive wasn’t bad, and we met my dad at our hotel in Ohio. Unfortunately due to my surgery I can’t drive, so Tam and Brad did all the driving. My dad was happy to see us, but a bit down overall.
We spent the next week and a half arranging her funeral. My dad said I came at the perfect time to help him with all the things that needed doing. My sister had visited in the few days before my mom passed. My dad pretty much had me and my sister plan and do everything and make all decisions for the funeral. We got together with my dad every day for about 3-5 hours per day, and spent the rest of the time relaxing in the room.
I had to do that because my foot and ankle swelled up huge and got super bruised and I HAD to keep it elevated. If I had it down for more than 3 hrs, it started to throb. And we also needed to do it for Felix, who doesn’t like working more than about 4 hours a day. Plus my dad was pretty consistently exhausted and needing naps.
We did manage to have some fun times together between the stress of planning a funeral and all that goes with death. We didn’t take a lot of pictures while we were there, but did get some. I’ll talk about those pictures below.
The first picture is a picture of the urn we got for Tam’s mom. My mom was buried. Tam’s mom passed away a bit over a year ago and was cremated and in a wooden box. Tam saw this urn at my mom’s funeral home, and fell in love with it for her mom. We could NOT have done this trip without Tam (nor would we have wanted to just because she’s a cool person!). She did the majority of the driving, and had to every time we got in and out of the car manage Felix, folding and unfolding my wheelchair, bringing my crutches to get in and out of the car to my wheelchair… it was a lot! So when Tam fell in love with the urn, Brad and I knew we had to get it for her to say thank you. It is a glass or ceramic butterfly shaped urn, in shades of blue.
My dad gave me a few pieces of my mom’s jewelry that he thought would be sentimental for me. He gave me her necklace from the art museum in Nashville. Many of you have commented on mine from the same place– the blue one. My mom’s is green. I also got her wedding rings from her second wedding (she forgot she was married to my dad, so my dad and I planned a second wedding for her). Below are a picture of me with the green necklace, and the main ring from my mom’s wedding set. I’ll have to have it resized as it only fits on my pinky!
In the picture with the green necklace, I’m wearing a green floral dress. In the picture of the ring, I have my regular rings on my ring finger, and Felix is in the background.
Early on in our visit, we picked a grave location for my mom. She’s buried at the most historic cemetery in Cincinnati, Spring Grove. We picked a beautiful location, in a grassy area right by the road, facing a grove of trees which borders on a stream. Her grave is marked by the orange flag in the picture below (this was before it was dug).
I got some pictures of my most typical morning at the hotel. Sometimes my dad met me for breakfast, but usually we would meet for lunch. Brad and Tam like to sleep in, whereas I wake up around 6 or so. So every morning I’d wake up, get ready, take Felix for a walk, and hang out in the lobby eating breakfast and drinking coffee. I had my regular spot in front of the TV. I liked to transfer into an upholstered chair, put my foot up on a footstool, and drink my coffee while watching Good Morning America.
In the pictures below, Felix is on my lap. You can’t see more of me than my lap and my boot on my foot. I have my foot up on a grey footstool, and my wheelchair is in the background. You can see a coffee station behind my wheelchair.
My dad can be a pretty fun guy! I love this picture I snapped of us one of the days we were there. I’m smiling, and he’s sticking his tongue out at the camera!
Once we got done planning the funeral, we had one day where we could really just relax before family started coming into town. On that day, we went to Summit Park, which used to be an airport. They have the old air traffic control tower still. Unfortunately the elevator to it was broken, but my dad felt like exercising and climbed all approximately 10 stories without a break! Bet you’d never know he’s 79 years old!
The park was beautiful, and we got some selfies of Brad, Tam, Felix and me, another selfie of me and my dad with my dad making a funny face, and a selfie of me and Felix.
The day before the funeral, we hung out with my sister and her family, and my aunt and uncle (my mom’s brother and his wife). We went to lunch, and then to the local pool for the kids to play. My dad wasn’t really in a playing mood, so he lounged on lounge chairs with us for the first half of the time there. Eventually when Brad, Tam, and I left, the kids were able to convince him to swim with them, which was really good for all of them.
We got a picture of Tam, my dad, and me at the restaurant, and some of me, my dad, and Brad at the pool. You can tell my dad likes making funny faces!
My mom’s funeral was the next day. It was a long, hard day. I spent most of the morning trying to get the slideshow of her photos working properly. That was the funeral home’s issue, but I was back and forth trying to get it fixed for like an hour or so. Eventually we got it done.
It was a lovely service, if I say so myself (because I planned and officiated it, all but the music which was my sister’s domain). We buried her, and then had a reception for family and friends. It was good to visit with everyone, though a sad day and occasion.
We left for the drive home the next day. I would have liked to stay longer and make sure my dad was OK, but it had been almost two weeks away from home! Felix did great while we were there, but I could tell he was READY to be home, as were we.
Poor Felix doesn’t eat well on vacations, so he ended up getting hand fed chicken and bread and cheese most meals. Luckily his poops were great (sometimes he gets traveller’s diarrhea). But even though he wasn’t eating great and was stressed, with me managing the number of hours per day he worked, he was able to be a real rock star this trip. He helped me a ton, and was soooo well behaved the whole time!
It took us two days to drive back, and we picked up the girls on the way home. It was SO GOOD to see them! And I was so happy when we finally arrived at the house I cried when we got inside. And then I cried again when I saw my chair in the TV room (I LOVE that chair!).
I am all unpacked, and just have five tons of laundry to do. It’ll probably be three or four loads of just clothes from Brad and me! And Felix managed to pee in his car carrier as well, so I have to wash the lining of that.
It is great to be home, and I am looking forward to some real down time. Stay tuned over the next week or so for videos! They are mostly videos of our hotel stays. I didn’t post them while we were gone because I don’t post on social media that we are traveling for security purposes. So I had to wait until we got back to post the videos.