I’ve been go-go-going for far too long for months now. I need at least two rest days during the week. But for many weeks now I’ve not gotten enough. I am close to the edge. I am almost completely overwhelmed by all the things I have going on in my life right now, and how many times a week I must leave the house. I’m close to becoming non-functional.
Today is my weekly day to hang out with my friends Doc and Dan. I wasn’t feeling up to picking Doc up at the normal time, so last night I emailed him and asked if we could meet later. That helped. Then because of the water main break, we decided not to go swimming so I could bring Hestia, that helped, too.
But what really helped me today was opening up to my friends. I don’t like to be seen as a complainer or someone who needs help or fixing. I prefer to be there to support others and put my needs second. Or better yet, never even mention or think about my needs!
But since I had already told Doc that I was struggling, he didn’t let me gloss over it. He and Dan were great. They helped me process my feelings of being overwhelmed, and then helped me brainstorm solutions.
Oh, and in between all of that, we ate yummy lunch at Cracker Barrel, and Doc and I played our song together two times through (enough to have fun, but not so much that it started to feel overwhelming or like work).
We decided that I can’t just keep pushing through. So tomorrow, instead of going with Brad to his general practitioner, I will stay home. This will give me two rest days this week, which is much needed. Brad and I already went over a list of things to talk with his doctor about, so I don’t have to worry about him forgetting something that I normally would bring up.
We also talked about it being OK if I miss orchestra next week (I have only one rest day scheduled). I don’t want to, as I will likely be missing the next 2-3 weeks after that due to endometriosis pain and surgery, but we decided it was OK to miss it if I had to.
And we also talked about it being OK if the week is so much for me that I have to stay home from the NAMI walk on Saturday. I really want to go, I am a big NAMI supporter, I am on the board, and I like my NAMI friends, but if the week has been too much, I now have permission to skip the walk if I need to.
If I can just get through next week, things calm down a lot. Of course, I will be ill with one more endometriosis bout and then surgery, but it will be good to rest for a while. My November is much less busy– apart from my normal orchestra and Doc/Dan time, I have one SDs on the town class, a NAMI board meeting, and possibly a trip to DC for another meeting with DOT. That is it, and I hope that stays it!
Here’s to good friends helping me pare down my schedule to something less overwhelming! I think I can make it through next week.