Today has been better than yesterday. So that is good. I’m still doing pretty poorly, but I am actively feeling bad, instead of feeling nothing. So it is an improvement. I’ve not been able to do much today besides feed the dogs. It is even hard to follow the TV.
I keep remembering the time I “stole” someone else’s dog food from the pet store. I went in to get dog food for Ollie, and his brand was sold out. I looked around the pet store and found one bag on a shelf alone. So I picked it up and bought it. I realized later that the shelf was a will-call shelf. So someone had ordered dog food and I bought it out from underneath them. I can’t stop feeling badly about that today. It happened probably a year or two ago. (Brad says the shelf was unlabeled, out in the open, and looks just all the other shelves, so I had no way of knowing.)
Brad knows how to help me, today, he ordered me some pizza for dinner. Domino’s had a deal on their gluten free pizzas, so we each got one. They got 3 toppings, so I got pepperoni and 2x pineapple. That and some kombucha (a fermented and cultured health drink that our Aunt makes for me) have me feeling better than I have since Thursday.
Thanks to everyone who has sent support. I am going to try to get to some emails while I am riding this pizza and kombucha high. If I don’t get to yours, I will later, and I do appreciate it. I haven’t been able to send email at all today yet except for one message to my friend Doc. So I am hoping I keep up the feeling better for at least a little while. And tomorrow we are going bowling with friends. That should at least take my mind off of being depressed.
So yay, feeling better. Feeling more actively sad and depressed, which is a good thing. And I am also counting my blessings that I have not felt suicidal today or yesterday. That is an improvement.