Today was water aerobics! I woke up feeling a little off, a little at loose ends with reality, but I really wanted to go swim. So off we went to the pool.
Hestia was NOT happy when I got in the pool. I tried doing water aerobics, but the longer we were there, the more she was barking at me (her alert behavior when I am in the water). I even tried to stay right next to her and do the jogging in place, but she wasn’t having it. She was clearly looking at me and barking at me, like “Get out of that water now!”
I was very embarrassed, and so after about 10-15 min, I decided to listen to her and go home. In the pool she can’t jump on me to give me grounding or deep pressure therapy. So she must’ve felt at a loss to help.
I didn’t think it was as serious as Hestia did. Sure I was discombobulated and my anxiety was on the rise, but I think I could have worked through it. But Hestia won’t take no as an answer! So we left.
Now that I am home, she is sticking to me like glue. She even stayed in the bathroom with me while I was showering which she never does. I”m trying to do a self assessment to see what is going on with me, but the only things I can put words to are that I am a little anxious, and my reality is a little bit out of focus on the edges. So I think today I will have to take another seroquel to knock this episode back. I took a seroquel the night before last when I was really having trouble with reality and it helped a lot.
It’s bad, too, though, because while the seroquel helps my moods and reality, it also makes me hungry. So I have to suffer through hunger pangs, or just eat a lot. Neither of which I want to do.
You are so courageous for hanging in there like you do.