Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me lately, I greatly appreciate all the contacts, likes, and comments. It is hard because when I am feeling this way, I don’t feel I deserve anything. I don’t feel like I deserve to take up space, breathe shared air, etc. So when I’m having a hard time, if I let it show and then people make a big deal out of it, it makes me feel like I’m “using” my mental illness for attention (even though I am not). I’m not saying don’t comment etc! Please do, because it really makes my day when people comment on my stuff. Just sharing how ambivalent I am feeling about the whole being mentally ill thing.
Anyway, we had Bagel Day today, and it was really good to hang out with some friends in person. I told them I was having a hard time, and then after a few “we all like you” things, they let me just be as I wanted. I put on the happy face, it was what I needed, because laughing felt really good. It was good to just put all my mental illness out of my head for a couple hours, and not pretend to be well, but just ignore being mentally ill.
I asked which hospitals I should visit if I got worse and needed to go to one, and Betsey recommended Presbyterian in NC or Piedmont in SC. Keeping that in here so I know where I can find that info in the future 🙂
When I got home, I saw we had a giant package from Amazon on our doorstep. Luckily it was very light so I could carry it in the house! Turns out it is Ollie’s new bed! The last bed we bought Ollie was super cheap. We learned the hard way that super cheap beds don’t last quite so long. So we got a very good quality bed for him– he deserves it!
The bed is large and has a bumper around all the edges, and a recessed area in the middle. It is grey, and there are white “zzzzzzz” embroidered into the bed. It is pretty cute, won’t show dirt well, and seems quite sturdy. I got a pic of Ollie on the bed, Hestia, too. I tried to get a pic of the three of us on the bed by doing a selfie from above, but boy that didn’t work out too well. I chose the best of the bunch, but selfies are hard, m’kay?!